Not as a Stranger - DivX Version (Normal Quality), iPod/iPhone Version
November 22, 2009
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IMDB rating: 6.70 Plot: Lucas Marsh (Robert Mitchum), an intern bent upon becoming a first-class doctor, not merely a successful one. He courts and marries the warm-hearted Kristina (Olivia de Havilland), not out of love but because she is highly knowledgeable in the skills of the operating room and because she has frugally put aside her savings through the years. She will be, as he shrewdly knows, a supportive wife in every way. She helps make him the success he wants to be and cheerfully moves with him to the small town in which he starts his practice. But as much as he tries to be a good husband to the undemanding Kristina, Marsh easily falls into the arms of a local siren (Gloria Grahame) and the patience of the long-sorrowing Kristina wears thin. She reasons he no longer needs her and asks for a divorce. A calamity now brings Marsh to his senses. Dr. Runkleman (Charles Bickford), Marsh’s gruff and wise employer, is stricken with a heart attack and requires emergency surgery. Marsh is forced to operate. |
Available versions:
DivX Version (Normal Quality), iPod/iPhone Version
Actors: Mitchum Robert,Sinatra Frank,Crawford Broderick,Bickford Charles,McCormick Myron,Chaney Jr. Lon,White Jesse,Morgan Harry,Marvin Lee,Bissell Whit,Raine Jack,Drama,
I've loved him my whole life, I can't ever get him out of my head but he's a complete loser! Help, please?
This is a book I’ve written, hah. My mind tells me I should dump him, but there’s so many conflicting emotions… Please, please somebody read this epically long "question" and give me a word of advice. I can promise you I’ll keep it in mind, whether I like it or not. 
First and foremost, I’m a cynic.
Now that that’s out of the way…
I met him when I was five. It was love at first sight. I don’t believe in fairytale endings, love at first sight, I don’t even believe marriage can last happily for very long. I have my reasons. When I was five, I knew it was love. I became best friends with his sister, just because we clicked, and we always talked about me marrying him and us becoming sisters and whatnot. Time went by, I know he felt the same the entire time. I was too shy to ever become terribly close until later years, but we had our moments. There hasn’t been a day in my life where I don’t think about him. He’s not even attractive, he doesn’t have an amazing, shocking personality.
I’m a Taurus and he’s a Scorpio, if that helps you horoscope nuts out there…
Here’s where it gets bad… I’m in high school, a junior. He’s just turned 19, and he is also still in high school. He once tried to steal. It was incredibly stupid. He used to be so much smarter… He was crazy about Greek mythology, strategy games. The trio of us, his sister, him, and me grew up on old school video games, throughout the years growing with the video game companies. We all love to camp, travel, our parents are the ones who met first and set up a playdate for all of us those many years ago. Since then, we have been so close, our families. Our families are fairly different, I come from a better neighborhood but they’ve actually had more money than us.
He’s on a terrible track, though. He’s been a failure student, he smokes pot. Not as much as some, but it’s still a few times every couple of weeks, and it’s the reason he never has any money. He’s never had a job, he’s fat and lazy. His character leaves much to be desired, and he has almost no ambition. He wants to be a cook, and I’ve encouraged him so much to pursue it. Before, he wanted to be a vet but lost interest. He’s switched schools something like 3 or 4 times because he’s failed out of his classes, now he’s just getting his GED.
I’m the one with ambition, passion, even talent. I’m in a very good high school, advanced classes, and so on. The difference between us is so vast and my parents DO NOT like him as a prospect anymore. I know they don’t, though it’s only my mother who’s actually said it to my face. They’re relieved it’s someone we’ve known for so long as opposed to a stranger, but honestly you take one look at him and know he’s a loser. And yet I love him. We started a secret relationship freshman year. I knew my parents would be ashamed if I told them and all I ever wanted to do was make them proud. I have a lot of pride in my work and efforts. But he’s so much better than they think. He’s really the only one that understands me, and puts up with me when I get a little crazy. He is a very empathetic friend, and he’s the one all of his friends go to with their troubles. He is wise, though irresponsible. It’s one of the few redeeming factors. However, I have to think about my future.
I’ve asked myself for years, "Would this guy be able to support us if things came to that?" I hate kids, so I don’t have to worry about that. I don’t believe in marriage, so I wouldn’t have to worry about credit and legalities if he ever did anything even more stupid, like get caught with weed. It’s the only drug he does. At the end of freshman year, I broke up with him because he had to go to summer school. By then, our parents knew. I was so happy with him, until we found out. He’d been skipping classes, not doing any work, and now he was costing his parents quite a bit of money for more classes that he ended up skipping. He drank, still drinks. Not as an alcoholic, but still.
I am WAY too good for him. He said it. I never said it, but I know it. Our parents know it. After I broke with him, he drank more, and I felt so terrible. We stayed apart for a year, but at the end of sophomore year I got back together with him. I couldn’t take it anymore. He’s the only guy I could ever feel happy with. I’ve gone out with others, but none of them came anywhere near to giving me the happiness I feel with him.
Finally, at the end of this past summer, we decided to take things further and did "the deed." This was after having known and secretly loved each other for eleven years, and another year of public relationship. I’m people-shy, so we never had PDA past holding hands on the couch. He makes me so happy. But I can’t ever get thoughts about the future out of my head. I know I should treat it like a high school fling, because high school relationships rarely last, and it’s too soon to even think about the possibility of moving in and such. I’m going to college right after
Oh, I didn’t know it would get cut off… Thank you for the answers. I really appreciate it.
People are going to tell you how young you are, and treat you like you don’t know what love is. But, I think you seem to know the situation perfectly, and you realize that, either way, you are going to have to make a sacrifice. I personally think it is possible for more than one person to be "the love of your life." You can stay with him and resent him for bringing you down in the world (because you will end up supporting him financially for the most part) or leave him and wonder if he would have made you happy. I think it would be wisest to go to college and focus on getting out into the world before committing to anyone. Maybe he is the love of your life for this era of your life, but you will meet someone tomorrow and love them for a decade. Or forever. Or maybe you will become a fancy career girl and have every success that you can, but always feel hollow inside because you don’t have intimate love in your life anymore. There are sacrifices in life, and they’re all a roll of the dice. I think you knew the whole time that there is no right answer. Just love yourself first and try not to hurt him.
Kandise | Nov 22, 2009
Forgetting events and relationships are not easy.We carry old pictures till death.Please try to get in to another healthy relation which may solve your present problem.
void | Nov 22, 2009
I guess you really don’t care about your future. Parents have a way of knowing that something is wrong for their child. It’s the child that can’t accept it. This man you have loved since you were 5 is really not a man. He’s a child in a man’s body. A man steps up and does what he has to do. He takes care of business. Why would you ever think that this situation was a good one for you? Have you never had a man actually act like men should toward you? Both men and women have to step up. I do feel that at 19, you still have a chance to get away from him. Although you don’t want marriage or children, that might change at some point. EVEN if he’s the only one that gets you….he’s worse off than you are.
DO not move in with him…..go to college and get away from him. Pursue your career first and forget about finding a man until you have your career path taken care of.
I really wish you luck, this is SO not a good situation…..also some counseling should be included in this, as I feel your self esteem is not all that great and part of the reason you accept someone who actually does nothing for you. and I mean NOTHING.
Babsygirl | Nov 22, 2009
In the end, what you feel is right is what counts.
You have to be realistic though. No matter how much you love him, can you see yourself as being happy with him in the future. Whatever you do, don’t get hooked up with delusions that because you’ve known each other for so long, you’re meant to be together - you have to know when to let go, no matter how much it hurts.
But if you DO love him and think that you can help him turn things around, and also believe that he’s capable of it, then stick it out. I’m sure that if you mean enough to him, he’ll listen to you and pick things up a bit (assuming that he does have a bit of altruism in there?)
Timbo | Nov 22, 2009
There’s no doubt that u love him very much……but i don’t think he loves u..because in that case he would have changed himself for sake of ur future…I don’t think he wants to live with u for ever…. Now its upto u whether u can be with a guy who don’t love u as much as u love him….even knowing that he’ just not good enough for u…..
GOOD LUCK
AzeEeEM__Unique_like_evrybdy_els | Nov 22, 2009
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